it's too cold in this skin that I'm in.
I am shivering and collapsing,
and I can't make myself warm,
because it's in me,
something that cannot be touched,
so cold that it's hot,
like a knife that has been left in the fire,
stabbing me in the heart,
but I cannot die.
I have "so much to live for,"
"I am so young,"
"I have my whole life ahead of me."
I am so tired, so cold, and I just want to fold into myself
and not exist.
I don't want to die.
I want to cease to be,
I want to never have been born,
I want the cold to go away,
I want everyone to stop and everything to stop,
I want to be nothing and everything.
but I am a coward,
I will never,
it is the one thing that I will never do,
and really, I can't complain.
I'll be fine.
I am always,